29th July 2008

Hahas today ponten; si beii ho seiis ! Didn't do much today except studying and playing audi awhile nias. But beats schooling anyday! Sad im gonna be in school tomorrow.
Oh fuck POA SDSP tomorrow ==
Si bei tiring and cannot tahan sias..
Well at least tomorrow can wake up late! ^^
8:45 nid to be in school, not sure when im gonna wake up; hopefully not before than hahas ;D.
Went out to eat only today; ? Not boring? I would think so ..
To be continued later, now go eat den study later ==

Hahas ^^ =P

Today! Wasn't really so bad unlike de other days, well I told my friends about my expedition to macritchie and it was like, oh well, its not like you've been dere de 1st time anywae. POA comes and well as usual outside the torture chamber for me; can't you believe dat teacher of ours is so f****** unreasonable?? I was sent home last week and didn't know today's homework and she just like, oh whatever ==. But never minds I sat outside, better den in dat stupid room anywae D;.

Come english, vocab test! Didn't study for it and well at least I did manage to fill in de blanks after all, wasn't tough was it?
Combine humans. and 2 free periods for us! Well we did a worksheet on Tourism, den after dat was last period and I hang around chatting wif everyone else. i did wrote on de whiteboard a message to our class to keep going! I wouldn't play the sneak and just wrote it on the board. kinda nice anywae!

Im not going to school tomorrow! Though there's a physics test on heat and SSS, SDSP as well. Oh wells I ain't going tomorrow! Friends leave a tag on my board if deres homework, thanks hahas!

Well i gotta scram! Gonna have to revise my geography in a minute now!
BYEEEE! ^^ =P


L0ls kok hoong drew dis on de table; omg artist sehhs! Looks nice anywae.


Cool he drew another one of dose! hey doesnt it gets better and better? =P


Angels Wings; Looks realistic; wonder hw he drew dat? o.o


Before our combine humans. SDSP == Diaos si behhs tired liaos lor ..


Into the SDSP.. 4:40pm.. 4:45pm .. Zzzzzzs ==

--SIGNED OFF 8:33pm 28th July 2008--

27th July 2008

Ended up in marina square instead of Suntec city, well the admission was too costly, $12 a person to see flora? You've got to be joking !

Today went to Macritchie (Don't know how to spell==) reservoir, decided to go on the trail to the treetop bridge walk, 10.3km from the carpark lot. So I decided to go at 4:00pm, reach dere at 4:30.. walked on the path where the school cross country run used , ended up somewhere, looks like heaven, grass patches, blue sky, golfers teeing off, thats 6km later. So I went around a leaf bush and saw a even longer trail into the woods. 4km more to the bridge, and I gave up, I reached 6km at 5:15pm, went back to the carpark lot reached about 6:20. But great at least I found a golf ball in the woods, some golfer tee the ball off and landed on the tree, falling to the ground, and I picked it up. lols well at least I wasn't so disappointed after all. "Anyone up for golf ya?" l0ls

Tomorrow, DON'T REMIND ME! School!! Its back to square one and I'm sooooo nervous about 1st August, where my drilling begins @_@. Hey chills 2months of suffering might turn out to be lifetime enjoyment, just don't push it!
Combined Humans SSS and SDSP until 5, staying until 7pm to revise..
English test tomorrow on vocabs! (Better study! OMG!) ..
POA @@ Commerce Room (Torture chamber I call it -.-)
Well it aint that bad, last period is free anywae!)
Hope to get a great start on my new behaviour! Tired of being a all time feminine act and loser bum on brooklyn avenue -.-.
Lets see if my attitude tomorrow will set things right and smiling lols.
Gortta go! Cya tomorrow ! =P
^^

-SIGNED OFF 12:19AM, 28th July 2008--


ok dis so called funny fungus dat grows on de trunk of a fallen tree, looks sick @@


Lots of turtles out on a suntan @@! 6 of dem in fact. eeks! =P


A monkey on the ground! Well he hated the camera anywae so he turned his bck on me D;


A monkey monkeying around; on the tree eating something. l0ls


o.o turtle<3 !! =P now dats big; l0ls cant i bring it home? No i guess.. =(


The forest trail ==, 10km from the bridge, seems like no end to this trail @@


The trail to the bridge is still damn long way.. 5km more ><"

26th July 2008

I'm just bored. Can't you believe it? I thought saturday would usually be a fun day but nooooo! , its so boring! There's so much to look forward to the weekends, getting away from school, dis-stressing from misery and many other things. But not for today, its just b-o-r-i-n-g!

I just thought of bringing up a topic today, haven't discuss for quite awhile now, its called, "How to beat boredom anytime without needing to use the computer." Opinions will be posted at 10:00pm later, but now to see what I'm gonna do today~

4:00pm and I'm leaving for the suntec garden city exhibition, can't you believe seeing flowers and flora all over the world? I would hope its going to be interesting at the flower exhibit , would be uploading photos of the event !

I guess I would sign off now, nothing to do anyway, maybe audi or sleep bahhs.
Continued later, "SIGNED OFF 1:15p.m 26th July 2008"

25th July 2008

Oral today.. got 26/40 o.o" , and i thought that maybe i'll get 30 or higher like that. But guess not. Wore my blazer to school today due to the "cold" weather in the morning. Glad today's friday anyway. Wonder what to do over the weekend, defintely not the computer.

Audition is getting out of hand for me, it's like I don't know, just feel that i'm no longer who I am. I've changed, bad or worst? Good or better? People in audi regards me as their friends, do they really mean it ? I hope they aren't pulling my legs when they said that but, all I know is that I've become more and more miserable and sad, not angry.

I've lost my happiness totally from 16 years. Life has lost its meaning for me now and I stand alone in this mist of confusion with no direction for me to go. Misery has conquered my life now, don't know where and when will I find the light of happiness again. My 'o' levels decides my life, that's my main concern other than any other things, but how can i focus on my studies when i'm feeling so miserable all the time?

Not that I chose to be miserable but.. It suddenly gets to me, hits me at a unexact moment. I want to be and feel joyous and happy, but I just can't! I tried my best and I still failed. I know my friends are tired of me being miserable, I try to be happy so that my friends won't feel miserable along with me, but I just can't, no matter how fucking hard I tried. The sad thing is "No one understands how I feel", probably everyone thinks I'm just too free with nothing to do and to be miserable to catch other people's attention, but it's not my PLOY to do that.

I'll still try to get this misery off my back, it's hard but I can at least try once, twice, thrice and fourth again.
OFF TO DINNER! =P WILL CONTINUE AGAIN LATER ~

24th July 2008

I just leave it to fate to decide my future then. Now I've gotta concentrate more on my 'O' levels instead of worrying what's going to happen in my social life, imagine me against everyone; who could believe that I could stand out top in the end? Glad tomorrow's friday, and ENGLISH PRELIM ORAL is tomorrow at 3:30PM! Omg think i'm gonna get fright staaaaaaaaaring at the examiners... == . Oh well pray pray thens. I believe i'm going to sit for my physics test on mechanism , better start revisin' . Tomorrow will continue!
=P

Signed off 9:00pm, 24th July 2008

23rd July 2008

I'm tired of being a idiot. Why can't anyone accept me? Do I look like a idiot? What's with me that makes everyone hate me so much.. Fine I was born an idiot but do I need this kind of treatment? No right? God why did you give me this life?? I wish i'm normal who have good friends.. But No!! I ended up getting bully just because i'm different. SO WHAT if im different, i'm still human like you fucking idiots right??

1week more and its goodbye to audition, can't stand people calling me a noob and a cb kia.. I don't know its like I love only myself, my friends don't give a fuck about me neither do they care. (Ask them to care about me its like telling them to climb mount everest.) I wish I was a death victim at the Sichuan earthquake, I really ought to die , after all if god doesn't love me what's the point of me continuing to suffer in this horrible world?

I admit Im stupid, I admit im dumb and useless, I don't want to be with friends because I gave them mian zi.. Don't want them to look bad in front of others with me around, I'm just a idiot.

I haven't blog for so long, yes I know.. Schoolwork, stress, bullied by "friends", teased and kicked around by others. 10days ago I mentioned hopefully I will get good friends, but instead, even my friends who cared for me now are slowly betraying my friendship for them. I feel like asking, AM I STUPID? 99.9% will say yes, 0.01% will say no i'll bet ..
Continuing tomorrow, want to go and sleep right now, just don't have the mood to contiinue.

13th July 2008

Ohh Sunday! Guess its boring as usual.. hahas today slack in audi, wan chiong until main lvl 31 . Si bei sians today never go out, guess home is where i have to be contented with. Oops and lets see, surrounded with textbooks and lecture notes with a pile of homework stacked in front of me and its like .. wad the fuck man ? Do I really have to do all this ? You must be crazy, and i mean Siao sot!

Today saw my audi laopo online, say she gt problems wif audi bt i dun mind hahas, so we talk talk on msn. 2 weeks never play wif her miss her =X. celebrated my audi frens bdae via sms," wont it be craazy if i just say.. oh damn i forgot to giv u de present ==" . I dont noe, sounds stupid D:

MUNDANE MONDAY, sighs its back to school again, facing creeps and friends, teachers etc all around in north view, 3 more months!! Bear with it!
oops POA tomorrow, hope its not my turn becos i didnt study de theory for de oral tmr. ohhh god.. Well guess i gt to live wif it then, not that i have a choice == .

7am-7pm daily routine monday to thursdays, next month 7am-9pm even more stupid, if you're lazy like me . You can't bear the timings in school, especially if you don't have any friends ><"

--SIGNED OFF 10:08pm, 13th July 2008--

7th July 2008

There it goes again! Swell our youth day holiday flew by just as fast as we are suffering. I just can't stand school. I just don't know why it just gets to me sort of.. 2 reasons!

1. The "Friends" Or Fiends in this school that i can't stand.

2. Just sick and tired of it.

It's not that I just hate going to school, but I guess it just sucks luhhs cannot help it. I'm not like my any any other friends well, who don't mind going to school because they have other friends there too. What about me? I'm worst, get picked on, teased on, get insulted and many more in store.. Even the teachers are making things worst *Can't tell why*. Basically what does everybody and I mean everybody, has that I don't have? 2 things: 1. Friends 2. Normal people. It doesn't get any better from here, 3 more months down the road and i'm in for the time of this life though. Don't ou think it's just stupid? I find it stupid.. Of course you know my parents aren't making my life any better and worth living for.

Had 3 days of fun though I didn't blogged since saturday. Lets see, things didn't quite work out according to what i've planned. Yupps i saw them and then, oh well felt nervous. A crazy concept, Online: Friends, Offline: Strangers. Get the picture? I don't think you do anyway. But yea at least it was fun sort of? Went on to bugis bought a few pieces of clothings for around 90 bucks and that was it.

Sunday wasn't much, just hang around the computer almost all day .
Youth day today and went to causeway point to get my brooch and that was it. Boring isn't it? Wait till tomorrow and its even more boring than you think the past 3 days are boring. Ain't going to realise it but seeing teachers, "friends" for the next 4 days and the following 3 months. It makes you want to puke. Ain't looking forward going back to school tomorrow! 6am- 7pm 100days+ everyday, Can survive it? I tell you, if you hate studying and think everyday's boring, I don't think you will survive it.

--SINGED OFF 8:42PM, 7th July 2008--

4th July 2008

tomorrows my day, outing with sena and icey at bugis.. lols can't wait for that bt im actually looking forward to it hehes ;D .. well today wasn't much, only except today we had chinese 'O' level oral and it was pretty easy ya? just great I just hate some of my friends in school.. All the fuck they do is just tease me out of my face.. damn you know its just so fucked up sometimes .
Time for Bed, to be blogging tomorrow with pics ;D

--SIGNED OFF AT 1:09A.M, 5th July 2008--

2nd July 2008

I wish.. I should have treated my friends better from the start. Today during our SSS and SDSP after school, I kena made fun of from my friends again!! yesh i was deir guinea pig again.. I wish that my friends would stop bullying me, after all I'm getting tired of life. Though I plan not to go for my MTL oral on friday, what's the point? I have already failed my MTL and my oral would make my grades worst.. It seems I wasn't over sensitive after all. My friends have really took a penknife and slashed my heart with a scar which never heals.. AREN'T YOU GLAD I'M LEADING A LIFE OF HELL?? It's not fair for me to get bullied JUST BECAUSE I'M BORN MENTALLY RETARTED!! IS IT MY FAULT??! NO RIGHT? THEN WHY YOU CAN'T JUST.. Shut The Fuck Up and keep your comments to yourself! I feel like giving up, and commit suicide in the end.. But I have to hold on, since I promised someone that I would pass my 'O''s.. Thats myself. I'm just indifferent.. Why lay the blame on me to remorse and reprimand myself? - Maybe I'm a stupid irritating bastard that's why they hate me..
The stress of my 'O' levels are mounting on me.. How much can I take it? God knows .

All I asked for, is to have better friends ='( ..

No mood to continue.. Will continue tomorrow.

--SINGED OFF: 8:37PM 2nd July 2008--