31st August 2008

"I'm not going to leave Audi.
Because I can't bear to leave my friends behind.
I have to make most of what I have;
As I don't have much time left to spare,
Even if life's difficult to hold onto,
I have no choice but to make it through the day.
I have started this race, &I have to cross the finish line."

30th August 2008

"Great outing today with uncertainty.."

Woked up at about 7.30am toady, changed my bedsheets etc,
I then used the computer for awhile, played audi.
Had my lunch before I left, hey I wore my class T!
Headed down to Dhoby Ghaut, met the guys at the food court upstairs plaza singapura.
Omg lol I forgot sort of how to get to the food court, haven't gone there for a long time.
Met Lann, imbored(LOL good that he came), Shaa, Moo & Jun. LOL did the intros etc, felt very nervous, but I tried to kept my cool.
We chatted for awhile before heading to the PCBUNK, hanged out there waiting for Mint& Lynn.
Okays , next we went to the cathay to get our tickets first, and went back to the bunk
Played for 1 hour at there, killing time to go watch the movie,
I've gone so lousy, even I lose to imbored in beat up(I won once). played some 4k's and 8k's,
lost every game but didn't matter.
Moo had to go to church, went to the movies without him.
after that RAIN FALLS! Dashed all the way there, lol got soaked.
Yea my hairdo's ruined.
While waiting for the movie, Vinn by accident spilled the isotonic drink all over me, hahas I didn't mind, I needed to wash the clothings anyway =D.
Watched Wall.E, I tot we're suppose to watch 4bia, but nooo! Think most of us couldn't take it.
Ok la the movie, not so bad; neither is it good.
After the movie, .. Jun, Mint & Lynn had to go , so its only the four of us!
Walked and chatted with them, good thing the sun cleared up.
I forgot my EZ link card I left at the bunk, but I went back to retrieve it.
Left them after that, and I headed home.

Sorry I couldn't upload the pics, as I forgot to switch my phone to my camera phone.
><"

Comes the uncertainty part,
The fact: I did had a great time at the outing;
but something I don't know is, "What do they think of me as?"
Yea I was pretty nervous, felt abit confused ..
I hope I would do better if there's ever gonna be a second outing, but maybe i'm not going.. Not sure,
Feel like leaving -OH-its, I realised i'm too lousy to join their guild, the truth is, I don't want to give the guild a bad name.
Maybe i'll quit the guild after all, go back being single . Which guild wants a lousy player anyway.
I feel very sick inside, I don't know why..
I think the only thing that could ever be there for me is my own shadow.
The only people who I love now its just 4, frm audi :D
I hope my misery will go away soon. I'm still suffering from severe depression since February to now..
I'll sign off now, don't want to think about it. ><"

29th August 2008

Continuing from my previous post.

HALLELUJAH tomorrow's the day! The guild outing with -OH-its!
Meeting at 1pm at Dhoby Ghaut MRT lols.
Heard we're gonna watch the 4bia movie, scary but never minds.
I'm wearing my class-T for the outing! LMAO guessed i've fallen in <3 with my class T!
Oh pics will be posted for the outing! =P
Too excited.. ><"

I better style my hair for it too; I look like crap without my hair styled I guess, still not decided on the jeans that im going to wear, black or dark faded jeans har?
LOL later than decide.
So this post is mainly about my outing tomorrow,
I don't have much to write anymore, gonna stop here for today!

Tomorrow you can bet my post is gonna be one whole long story.
GD NITES! BYES ;D

29th August 2008

Celebrated teacher's day in school today!
Had our ACES day walk @ yishun part, before that watched a ancient chinese sport documentary etc.
Collected back my result slip; not bad 2 B's and 1 D, Have to do well in Prelims then.
Watched the teachers' day concert, man this year was the besst concert so far!!
Headed back to class, cool the class decorated the board with the glowing coloured sticks,
BUT...
I watched our class video; managed to get a sneak preview before showing it to Mdm Lau, then as I watched, my heart sank into the pacific ocean deep below.
After I saw the video, I didn't know what I was doing .. I couldn't take it and LEFT without telling anyone; *Even if I had told them I'm going, no one would care!*
Got to admit, it was a touching video,
At least it didn't make me feel part of the class, IM ONLY JUST A SO-SO "CLASSMATE" GOD DAMN IT TT.
I've got to be strong, 1 more month left! &after that its OVER.
Don't want to be my friend, bully me I aso don't care much, I deserved it.
I learnt my lesson from this mistake, "DON'T FAIL IN POLY AS A FRIEND, EVEN IF YOU FAILED IN SECONDARY SCHOOL!"
I failed.. not academically but as a friend, I made too many mistakes.
I know it's all in the past, but it's so hard.. to let go!!
But 1 thing I will never ever let go in my life until I die; it's my CLASS T-SHIRT!; which I'll always cherish with me.

To be continued tonight; *Sorry I failed. ='( *

28th August 2008

PREEEELIMS TODAY!! Amazingly I thought the english is suppose to be difficult but its SUPER EASY! O lvl would think its more easier .. o.o
Kept signing teachers' day cards and turned in mine before i headed home..
Went to bugis to walk around for awhile, played at the lan shop, played with ---TOFU-x3 for awhile, I realised that my skill had gone down the drain.
5 plus took train home,
had dinner at home, father rushing me to eat my food. I should'nt have gone out in the first place.
Studied maths during night study, l0l <3 my class T's!
came back and onto the computer, I at first talked with XinYun and she invited me go audi and I was, haha sure no problem.
Then when i played, Everything went hell..
I used to be a hero in my friend's hearts in audi, now i'm just a plain zero.
Wondered if..,
Hero + Friends - Noob Skills - Reputation Lost = Zero? Don't know la, only just a guess.
I think i'll just quit audition for awhile, don't think anyone would care if i'm gone or dusted.
1st September my last day, will be back on 11th November 2008.
Heys last 4 days to play with my friends, better than nothing =).
To friends, *Don't miss me when i'm gone for the period, Jys all the way in audition and may you guys be blessed with days with smiles ahead."

Oh and that story I was going to tell you, well here it is!
Tuesday, walked into school, had assembly at the parade square, I then got pulled out along with my other friends, just because I didn't go for the remedial yesterday.
Next moment we were outside the staff room, then that mdm Raps came and spoke to us..
Damn she ordered all of us to call our parents, then I was the second one.
Guess what? She yelled at me said that I was lying and got convicted ! Got more lectures etc etc.
I know I was in the wrong for lying but; NEED TO YELL? NEED TO GO OVERBOARD?
That's the story. Not to mention she gave us holiday homework!!
Fuck it la. Glad got 1 more month left in school.

Looking forward to teacher's day celebration tomorrow at school, YOU BET I'M WEARING MY CLASS SHIRT!!
alrights got to go. ^^
Nites :D


My sitting position filled with maths books, formulae etc.. IS THAT POA PAPER I SEE?? ==!!! FUCK LA POA _|_


Front part of the class T's! nice sias right? Paid $14.50 of course nice la..


Our class T's the back dere, left french right german language.. style sios!


Lets see, maths and more maths... at least know how to do. =P

27th August 2008

Science Prelim Practicals today! OMG I made a fiasco x.x, i wrote Aluminium Carbonate when its actually ZINC carbonate! ><". never mind at least I did pretty Ok in the physics section..
Played the new Audition today, lols bought the Cute Ghost pet lols!
Guess i'm going on the outing with the -OH-its peeps! I'm bored anyway might as well come along =D.
You won't believe what the fuck happened yesterday,
I'll explain all about that tomorrow, but this time THIS HAS REALLY GONE TOO FAR!
Tomorrow is written paper prelims!
English language first up! Should pass tomorrow; Aim for A1 better lots!
Wonder if I should go to the bugis lan shop tomorrow..
OMG ya by 6.30 I need to be in school for night study,
SSS N SDSP is down during the prelims, but the night study is NOT! @@
I'll sign off now, nothing much to write anyway but oh wells.
BYE! :D

--SIGNED OFF 9:42PM--


Lol cute ehhs? oo ghost looks scary =P

23rd August 2008

Bored today D: . +
Woke up at about 10.50am,
didn't do much after that.
Can't you believe it ? Don't know why but I overslept my usual timings these days;
I only remembered I had a horrible day yesterday; got scolded x.x
It was yesterday evening,
Out of anger I yelled at dad by accident, got scolded by sis, called me "crazy"
I provoked her and she continued to break me down , and I really did.
Tried to explain my situation, they didn't listen.
Feeling miserable the past few days,
It was today then I realised I went too far by scolding Li Jing on my blog a few days back.
Maybe I didn't consider her feelings as well. After all she was right, being a vice-chair isn't easy. Like I was a few years back.
I don't know, but I didn't feel I was doing the right thing.
Just one message, "Sorry LJ, made a dumb mistake by insulting you over a minor matter, you had done alot for us as a class, keep going and jy!"

Guess we should consider each other feelings, think that's what friendship is all about.
I admit there are bad times, but surely there are good times we had right?
Maybe that's what made me overslept, gotta admit, didn't had a good sleep. T.T
Played Audition today, met my mei and couple as well,
xy then called me, didn't talk very much.
Slept for awhile, woke up and went to the market to devour on a pizza, ><"
Watched the olympics after that, then that's when I received the message on my phone, and feared for the worst.
Read her offline message , I have to admit,
her message filled my eyes with tears, I know guys don't cry but this is exceptional all right?
I really apologised to her after that, I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
Nice of her to forgive me, I'm sure no one will be forgiving if they were in her position..
Don't have the mood to carry on writing,
Continuing tomorrow, It has at least made me realised what a fucking idiot I had been after what's done.
PS: Sorry Li Jing, but you had been a great friend to most of us! ;D

-SIGNED OFF 10:27PM, 23rd August 2008-

22nd August 2008

Life is just UNFAIR... !!!
I don't know why I feel like this D:
Everyone Hated me for what I did; but it's not my fault TT
Am I that stupid, or a horrible person?
Because of what I did, you have to hate me behind my back?
I'm just feeling broken inside.
No one really cared,
I have nothing left to smile. =(
It's the end of me.
-----------------------------------------

21st August 2008

I had thought about this poem and would like just to share it out,

"Because I'm Different"

You've have seen me walking in my own shadow,
being isolated from every single soul;
it has been painful, but I had no choice to bear
the pain.
Because I'm hated.

It's any other normal day; getting bullied by hooligans,
pushed and kicked around like a sphere ball.
I've never realised the pain i'm going through,
but I think it's perfectly normal for anyone to face problems.
But not everyone goes through this predicament, only
Because I'm dislikened.

I'm never treated the same like everyone else,
be it appearance, character, not anything else.
I keep falling back, spending my time pondering,
on the bad memoirs I've kept. No one to help me up,
Because I'm a weirdo.

"Why?" I ask myself, "Is it so hard to be friends with me?
Not to get ill-treatment because of my condition?
Is life that unfair? But Why??"
The answer finally came and pounced on me
it's Because I'm Different. + End +

If you can understand this poem, you will know how i'm feeling TT.
Today was my english O lever oral exams, hopefully I will make it, :D
gt a C5 for chemistry, not too bad but can be better ! ^^
Looking forward to a better tomorrow, I know I owed alot of assignments, but I will get them done ASAP.
Have to go sleep now, hope this poem helps to make you understand what i'm going through :D
BYE! ^.^

16th August 2008

Nothing happened today, only to know that it was really very boring.
Woke up at 10.50AM, don't know why but I overslept some way or the other.
Did nothing in the morning except watching the boring olympics.. Oh and by the way congrats to SG sort of, getting a medal, don't know its gonna be silver or gold but shall find out tomorrow!
Yuhhs I gotta admit, I played Audi for awhile since I was damn bored with almost nothing to do..
Stopped at around 3, guess what? My audi mei msg me after so long liaos.. Rofl, crazy lor, very de unexpecting kinda?
Slacked around until 5 reading archie comics, went out to thompson plaza had thai express for dinner .. Walked around there, wasn't really of much fun.
Came back at 7.18pm, used the lappy and watched soccer on TV as the new season has kicked off lols.. Man almost nicked the 1st prize 4D, $25k we've almost grabbed damned.. 1320 >> 2320!! ==
watched until 9.45, went back to my room, continued with audi .
Here I am now, 12am on the 17th, can't play computer tomorrow, gotta chiong for my chemistry as well.. LOL monday I go copy the POA homework from my friend, don't feel like doing it sort of..
Guess I'm signing off, going to sleep ..
NITES lol ;D
--SIGNED OFF 12:10AM, 17th August 2008--

15th August 2008

How should I start? Oh yes! We had PE yesterday and our rugby test isn't until next friday. Oh great and we played rugby practicing in the process as well. Comes 12.30pm. I was in the 4E1 classroom for english, and guess what one of the pupils saw outside the window.. A burglar breaking into the house!
His yelling sort of caught the attention of the whole class and was distracted.
Stupid sia he go shout at de fellow he surely will run ma.
So anyway after awhile the police came, went up to the wrong floor somemore..
5th floor and when they got to the scene, he's already gone.
Mr. Latiff went over to give the report on the burglar.. Man were we distracted by tt stupid burglar..
SO he escaped, drama lasted for 30minutes or so.. And the police were finally gone after they couldn't wait any longer .
So.. Yupp we had maths after that, kinda boring as usual.
Went back home for a while, freshen up and headed back to school by 2:27pm,
SSS didnt start until 2:50pm, guess what its maths SSS n SDSP today..
Didn't had a choice but to focus on the lesson, got back the test paper and oh well, at least it was some sort of improvement! (Ain't bad for a potential failure rite?)
Focused and concentrated on the lesson , bearing the time with only a 37Degree isotonic drink to fill my empty stomach , all the way until 5pm.
spend the rest of the 1 hour 30 minutes revising my maths, yuhhs I aso did accompany Ghufran for a while, aint so bad walking around the school.. better than sitting on the bench with a sore back side lols!
6;30! Night Study starts! Continued on the same subject, maths again!
revised on everyday mathematics, and basic arithmatic and mensuration.. Tried to absorb the formulae and theories.. Did manage to get in lols.
Listened to my itouch, better than hearing loud chatters and noises coming from across the cateen! RAWR!
Strived until 8:30pm, the programme ends! well Mdm Koh did talk to me for awhile concerning whether if I should retake my MTL exams and I said, "I will consider".. Yuhhs i gt 5 subjects to concentrate on especially my maths, Can't afford to fail it!
8:33pm, left the school compound. Went home, but hey its nice walking in the night though lols!
MSNED for awhile with JiaHui for awhile, and slept after that!

Next morning! 6:55 out of bed into my uniform and at 7:07 I was well on my way, came downstairs. And guess what? I saw my schoolmate who is my neighbour either ! It's funny I've always been like a coincidence that I see her almost everytime.. It's strange I've always been seeing her as well for the past few months, and this is going on for sometime now.. Yuhhs I should have taken the opportunity to say hi and then again; there's always next week! :D *She seems nice really; should I take the chance to get to know her better? Oh never mind; that's the least of my worries. (: *
Reached the compound at 7:20. Wasn't late again as usual..
Hey good news; got back my long awaited Literature test and guess what again? 20.5 / 25! Finally a A1! Been waiting so long for that grade,
But.. I have to see that grade more often on my certificate (:*
Came combined Humans.. had a Social Studies test on SBQ, about 9-11 with Osama and CO. crazy I used the inference and usefulness skill.. Hope I'll get a decent grade, will be appearing on my result slip by the way;
Nothing much after that, 12:50 I headed straight home, NOT retaking my MTL exam!
Glad mum came back today, was able to share the news with her concerning my ACE lols.
Went on a car ride, went to refill the petrol in her car.
Ate Eva's Magnum ice cream and to tell you, its great! ($3.90 ice cream stick what do you expect except a good quality?)
But sadly mum got classes tonight, won't be seeing her until 10 but never minds..
Had fried rice for lunch, so I didn't had anything for dinner.
Suppose to do the assignment mum assigned me to do. But I left the answer key in school!
Can't do the work, will explain to mum later; surely she'll understand (:.
Gotta sign off now, sorry to readers if you find my entry UNSUALLY long today, its yesterday's and today's events!
Going to eat now! I'm starved!
Byebye ^^
--SIGNED OFF 9:11PM, 15th August 2008--

14th August 2008

im just posting de nite study programme photos; will be talking all about it tomorrow in my next post!
Gd Nite! =P :D


Today's night study! Studying the horrors of mathematics OMG MAN!


Along the bench , everyone's work in action!


19:28 .. man so long into the night study, cant wait to get home to slp man!


walking out of de sch.. 8:33pm .. oh home sweet home! =D


my sch at nite.. man at least its better den day time, wonder if dere is nite class? =P

12 August 2008

Today was sooooo stupid! damn..
1st, had to sit outside the stupid poa room just because I didn't know how to do my erm homework ya homework..
2nd, damn and they had to call my parent sia wtf.. one molehill transformed into a mountain?? Come off it this isn't really a serious matter and its not the "Transformers" movie rite??
3rd, release of the stupid chinese O result, ooh guess what? I GOT F... damn that really killed the rest of my day. And you won't believe it, 125 / 129 candidates actually passed their MTL oh my god..
Guessed i'm really ashamed of myself, I was speechless.. For that I was traumatised for the next 5 hours or so -.-||.

SSS and SDSP WHOOOO WHEEee... boring as usual; SSS was chemistry and we learnt the boring mole concept which anyone in this school knows how to do maybe?
SDSP.. Physics, guessed what? A new bible and its free hahas! Unlike that stupid POA bible where I paid $8.00 for it .. Cool isn't it? At least I didn't have to spend any of my allowance from it.

Today, was the start of de ye'ole NIGHT STUDY PROGRAMME!! It was 5 when i got released from my classes and headed to the canteen, wanted to leave school to eat at the coffeeshop nearby and fuck it was raining like cats and dogs and I had to stay in school, only tidbits and a bun to satisfy my hunger for the rest of the day!

Heres how it goes, 1st I studied my physics bible for the past 1 half hours until 6.30 where the programme began. Studied chemistry doing the rate of reaction homework and some studying as well until 8, and then i spent the last half hour revising de horrors of maths! omg!
But all didn't out to be so bad. 8.30 we were released from school,
walking out of the school gates, on a cold night. Cool ! (:

gotta sign off now, nvm abt wad happen today, i still hv 5 other subjects to hold onto!
:D
Ciao (:

11th August 2008

Haven't blogged for quite awhile; just preoccupied with too many things on my mind these few days..
School.. Family.. Friends..
Oh well nothing about that, well but i'm just bored really; seems like school is getting boring with nothing much to do, well its been 5 days i've been bringing sweets to school, splitting the loot of sweets among my friends.
school work getting higher and heavier; cant even support it! (What's the meaning man?!)
Part one end: part two continued later (:

3rd August 2008

Im tired of posting the pictures of today, and didn't feel like doing it anyway. Will be posting tomorrow .
Wasn't so bad today I guess , woke up at 6am, went to macritchie reservoir park at about 7, went there to walk the trail to the stupid bridge . Damn far isn't it? Ok i didn't find any golfballs or anything, but I brought back, a foot full of blisters, a flu n cold dunno from where though.
Came back at 11am, slacked around in audi, play play earn dens aso do story.
Come 3pm went to golden village watch movie ,
wasn't so boring unlike hanging at home at de silly com all day -___-"
Still; brought dat flu along wif me . Used about 40-50 tissue paper liaos for today.
But come towards the end of the day; the flu n cold is still with me.
I Don't know if tomorrow can go school; see how my flu ><
_____________________________________________________________

Maybe i'm not going to school tomorrow; who knows right? Lets see first.

--SIGNED OFF 9:10pm 3rd August 2008--

1st August 2008

The gates are open; let hell begin! Surprisingly today i did great on my literature test; though i didnt really study for it but next week should know wads gonna happen. Sian today I stayed back to catch up on my physics test on heat, did great as well on it, at least I studied that.
I'm still going on the computer whenever I can; although I was suppose to go today to have pizza hut with my friend but never happened. donnoe why == .

This is stupid my misery has came back again! Now i'm feeling even more worst that im still getting pushed around again! Now its so difficult for my friends to treat me as one of them, I put it this way, asking them to be my friend is like asking them to get A1s in A.Maths and POA or to climb mount everest, swim across the pacific ocean.-.-

Can't you believe now I think my teachers are getting tired of listening and helping me with my problem as well. After all I don't care if they don't want to help, I don't force them too. But im glad the weekend is here and monday comes i bet 101% im gonna sit outside the commerce room again (It has became a nice environment to study in doesn't it?)

Another problem is my parents! Yes I was wrong that I forgot to put my uniform in the wash but do they have to yell at me? Even I told them that i did great on my 2 tests today and they were like, 'whatever' -.-.
To tell you the truth, I don't know what my friends see in me; they might see me as another fucking idiot or someone who is mentally stupid. I don't know.. My life is in a mess now, school, home, character problems and im still getting counselled in school. Isn't there no end to this misery?? IS LIFE SO DIFFICULT TO GET BY WITH?
I don't know.. It's like the whole world is tired of me.. T.T

--SIGNED OFF 8:56pm, 1st August 2008--

Just thought maybe I would like to upload some photos from wednesday to now.

yesterday de guys were playing rugby during pe lessons, I just take for fun .


Another of kok's drawings on de table; where's the head?


l0ls dis is in class; not sure wads zul doing though .


my handwriting (in red) on de board during our breaks on wednesday.


our class noticeboard! nice rite? l0ls


a talented fool playing on de piano -.- ; didnt take his face =P